feelings

Writing this at the above timing and posting this 1 month later just to confirm how I feel about this and confirm how it's not "just a phase".

I am a bisexual.

I enjoy the presence of both guys and girls.

Sometimes, I see them as women, not as normal friends if you know what I mean lol Idk how to word this.

Rest assured that I have nothing against anyone who is reading this blog hahahaha since not many people know or even remember about this blog anyway. NO DON'T WORRY I HAVE NEVER HAD ANY ROMANTIC FEELINGS ON ANY OF YOU GUYS WHO KNOWS ABOUT MY BLOG'S EXISTENCE SO PLEASE SAU PEI AND CALM DOWN BEFORE YOU MISUNDERSTAND.

But I have had crushes on girls before.

Yes, I did.

No, I have never confessed before, r u cray.

I was also attracted to a very fine lady when I attended a wedding event the other day. What the fuck I'm sorry hahahaha I did not mean to creep people out but there's just something about her that I'm attracted to. I think it's her confidence or elegance and the way she present herself that makes me go more towards damn I want to know her better instead of how do I be like her.

I only realised it until recently that I kept fawning over female idols more than male idols and I wondered HM WHY AM I LIKE THIS.

Then I stumbled upon comments about their personal experiences in the LGBTQ thread that I've always checked. (Which is also how I know that most of the idols that I admire tend to have a lot of gay rumors hahahahhaa???)

Okay well shit haha. Their comments hit me right in the chest.

If you cannot accept this, I'm okay. I understand and do not mind if you walk out of my life as my friend. It's hard to accept this issue. 

I had to admit I felt a little tense when sifu said I'll have troubles with men in my life because I never seem to be satisfied with the opposite sex.

It's my way of thinking, I'm sorry but I just can't help it.

Does it have to do with how I was brought up? I don't know.

I don't know if anyone remembers but I used to be really tomboyish when I was younger? Like wtf I dress like a boy except I had long hair.

I only started to become more feminine until recently? Hhahahah. I think it's only when I'm with my bf? I avoid skirts or dresses when I'm with my girlfriends though.

I feel more protective over girls whenever I'm with them. The kinda thought like it's okay girls, I can handle this for you. Let me do it instead because girls are really fragile don't you think HAHAHA.  I naturally become the more reliable one or the one you can lean on when it comes to girls. I'll tease them a lot just to make themselves comfortable around me and just be the one they can depend to. SORRY I'M SO CRINGEY I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORD ALL THESE.

But when it comes to guys, I tend to be more boyish to blend well with them. Of course I'll let them handle the heavier/physical work when I'm with them since they like being the macho one lol but I'll tend to be the one that is okay with their sexual jokes/ comments on hot girls. Basically the girl-like-bro. The one that judge leng luis with them instead of glaring at them like you-fucking-creeps HAHAH.

Of course there are guys that I dislike as well. The overly alpha ones, the kind that just shuts your opinions no matter what you explain to them lol THESE FUCKEN GUYS ARE SCUMS OF THE EARTH.

Also, I'll let you know that I have ogled at a lot of attractive girls this month and I finally feel comfortable about it without conflicting myself like omgwhatamIdoingstaringatgirls.

Yeah so I kinda swing both ways.


I'm sorry to disappoint anyone?


Please don't leave me~


No guys, it's not just a phase. I assure you. I know how to differentiate physical attraction and sexual attraction thankyouverymuch now let's not talk further before I disgust you.

No. I am not cheating on my bf, in case you're wondering. I'm not an asshole. Let's just say that I realized my spectrum thanks to the internet.

So, if you're like me too and uncomfortable, hello! I'll have you know that I have your back! Unless you have a shitty personality!

If you have tons of shit to ask me, feel free to do so!

If you are confused, feel free to consult me! Although I don't think I can help much anyway!

Thank you! Love you guys! Whoo!


Attached herewith gifs from my fav icons