grateful x1000

"You know the other day I accompanied my 5 y.o son to his piano practice, usually my husband will accompany him mah. But that day I went with him." 

"Wow. He plays the piano well?" 

"I want to VOMIT BLOOD!!"

My superior is so good at building up tension!!!!

I'm under her but I was thrown into another team temporarily to help them on construction drawings so I obviously had to finish my things and handover to my superior.

So she came to my place and saw me finishing off the last of my tasks

"Okay. So you're done right? You can go peacefully now." 

"CHOY!!!! Walao! Say until like that!" 

"Hahaha. Ok! You can go peacefully!"

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"You know, I only fought with xx once. That's the one and only time I fought with her."

"Wah really? What happened?"

"So we were working late one day. It happened very long time ago. During that time we sat next to each other. It was already like 8pm++ and I still haven't finished my work. There was this cabinet of files beside me, it's like a border between both of us."

"She came over to me and was like hey, can you move your cabinet? It's disrupting my way of movement etc, so I told her I'll move it later. Let me finish my work first. Because I was still rushing my work!! But after a while she came over to me again and was like hey, when can you move your files?"

"So I got mad and just pushed allllllllll my files down the floor, so now the cabinet is empty and she can move it! So I told her OK, move it la! Then I turned to look at her and tears just streameddddd down her face like waterfall."

"After that one single time, I thought to myself, there's no need to act in such manner."

"Wooww..."

"Did you regret pushing down your files? Since you have to tidy it up later.."

"HAHAHAHA. *imitates* 9pm already?!! Nooooo why did I do this to myselffff. Why did I push my files T_T *miserably picks up tons of papers*"

---------------------------------------------------------------


So we had live seafood steamboat dinner for one of my colleagues' farewell yesterday. It was pretty pricey lol I have to admit I was already calculating that it's going to be at least 40 bucks per pax since the set we ordered was already RM180. NOT including the add-ons.

My female superior came with us and she's the only senior who came with us yesterday. So we just told her we'll eat anything so just order, so she made all the decisions and ordered for all of us because she kinda wants to speed things up as she's rushing to go back early and she's the senior anyway hahaha.

What we did NOT expect was her treating us.



I told my bf that I want to be an OL like her (the senior who always treats their juniors) but at the same time I don't want to be an OL too.

As in I don't want to work until THAT old hahahahaha.

Being an engineer is SO stressful.

When you reach a certain level and no one ever checks your work anymore, you'll start doubting yourself sometimes.

Like is this adequate. Is the reinforcement enough. Is this correct. Will this collapse. Are there any other factors should I be considering. How do I make this better. Oh shit did I correctly do this this task the other day!!! 



She's not that old by the way she mentioned to me that she's almost 40 and I was so surprised LOL I honestly thought she's in her early 30s. She was the one who interviewed me too with the director.

Respect x100000000000.

I mentioned before she seems really strict during the interview and she still is hahahaha but she's really a good mentor. Also she gave me a lot of opportunities so I'm extremely grateful to be under her and not other nightmare seniors hahahah.



I must treat her for lunch once I get the confirmation letter after my probation ends.

I think she's the one who mentioned to big boss that it's a shame he doesn't know a lot of juniors in the company and there's no opportunity for us to work under him, so he wouldn't even remember if we joined or left the company.

Then I got called into his office the other day.

I was so anxious!! I was thinking ok shit WHAT DID I DO WRONG. WHAT HAVE I DONE. It's too soon to get my confirmation letter?!?! WHAT PROJECTS HAVE I BEEN DOING AND WHAT DID I DO TO TRIGGER HIM.



He basically gave me a task to identify the cracks of their very old project in Bangsar.

In which I failed miserably hahahaha because I had no idea how to differentiate between structural cracks and brickwall cracks and plastering cracks etc.

How would I know!?!?!

So obviously it's like a golden opportunity to work directly under him (but I'm not sure if he even remembers I still haven't passed my probation lol)

BUT the bad thing is I'm afraid there'll be prejudice among my seniors because I'm like the latest to join the company and they have been working for few years now but didn't even get the chance to be directly under him?!?!

I'm worried of what others would think of me especially when I have very talkative political seniors lol.

Also I got thrown to help another team temporarily and obviously my superior isn't very happy about that hahahhaa

I'm not very happy about it either. Being under her means I get to do a variety of works. I get to do the normal construction phase, prelim phase, and the extremely rare strengthening phase.

Strengthening works is VERY uncommon in consultants. Maybe I'm a bit too inexperienced to say this la. But I learned a lot from this. So I definitely enjoy being under her wing because she's very patient with me as well.



I kept telling her now to throw me away hahahahaha because I don't want to be in the other team.

Being in the other team means it's something similar to what I did in Puchong.

High rise. Tons of drawings. Tons of layouts. Messy.

And the learning growth is basically very slow because obviously the seniors will be doing the complicated ones. It's a high rise after all, if anything goes wrong then die lah.

Means I'll just be doing a lot of data entry stuffs and simple designing.

What they need are drafters, not freaking engineers!!!!!!!!!!

They have more than enough engineers!!! How many more do you want u lil shit

I'm already done with the designing tasks they've asked me to do, it's just that THEIR DRAFTER IS SOOOOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOWWWWW.



They told me to monitor the drafter but inside I'm like meh.

Hahahaha.

I don't want to be performing too fast and too good now otherwise I'll be permanently in their team which I definitely do NOT want that to happen hahaha.

So I just let him be. Though it's very frustrating to deal with his speed because I have tons of drawings for him.

Whatever haha.

I want them to realize that I'm performing and done with your tasks, it's just that you don't have drafters for me so it's not my fault. I want them to realize that YOU DON'T NEED ME. YOU NEED DRAFTERS!!!!

My superior also throw me to ANOTHER team LOL the third team now because I was done with their tasks.

"Eh? Why are you doing my project again?" 

"I finished theirs already. They have no time to layan me hahaha." (I kept going down to ask them if there's anything else but he just dismissed me and ask me not to disturb him kajshdkaj fffffffffuuuuuuu) 

"Oh! Then I think you can help Sri Petaling also."

"Yeah! They need engineers. I'll go ask Mr xx. I'll ask you first. You want to do car park or bungalow?"

"Do I have a choice??"

"Yeah! I'm very good one. I'll let you choose. Car park would be repetitive, bungalow would be interesting la."

"Okay.. but car park is more urgent right?"

"Yeah.. Ok la. You'll do the car park first. After we're done with that then we'll do the bungalow. No worries. I'll guide you. Let me talk to Mr xx."

(ENDS UP DOING BOTH ANYWAY LOL)

*15 minutes later*

*pats my back* "Ok! You'll be helping them next week."

"HAHAHA. WHAT?!?!?! Okay..."

No regrets leaving my ex company.

I got soooooooooooooooo much opportunities now.

She actually gives me quite little guidance lol basically her style is just throwing you to the ocean and expects you to learn how to swim. She just threw me the pile cap design one day and I had no clue, no books, nothing for me so I eventually took the company spreadsheet and basically figure out the formulas and the calculations on my own.

After a while she came to check on me so I explained to her I'm learning from the spreadsheet haha so she was like what ok like that also can.

Then at the end of the day I completed it and showed them to her. Luckily it's correct!!! She only gave me a book when I was almost done with the calculations lol.

So yeah.

It's the absolute opposite of the 2nd team which I dislike.

He's very long winded lol so I'll waste a lot of time just standing there waiting for him to make up his mind and find the correct drawing and explain his concept to me.

Don't throw me awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.



My colleagues told me that since they have lunch together with my superior sometimes, they did ask about me. I don't join lunches because I pack food from home. So they asked her hey how's SJ? As in how's my performance, some of them can be reallyyyyy back stabbing lol.

She told them that I'm ok! Lek lui. Chong ming. 



She also asked me if I'm the eldest among my siblings and I was like nope, youngest.



A moment of bangga.

Tq.

You have no idea how touched I was. To be complimented by my strict superior that has everyone's respect in office. Behind my back.